Friday, January 31, 2014

My Happily Ever After

As the months go by there are so many things I've learned, loved, and lived.  I have learned to love this little boy with truly all my heart.  His smiles, excitement, and giggles make the most craziest and tiring moments so worth it.  

When people ask how I like being a mother, I always say "It's so fun."  It really is, and it's getting more fun every day.

 There are so so SO many moments that have captured my heart, that I don't want to forget.

I love the moment when I walk into his room in the mornings saying "Is my little baby awake?" and see that handsome face light up with a huge smile through his crib bars.

Or the moment when I hand him something new he's never seen before, such as a spatula, and he gets so super excited he can hardly stand it.  He makes the best facial expressions.

Or the moment when he knows it's naptime and he closes his eyes and cuddles into me.

Or bathtime moments when he discovered splashing and little squeaky water-squirting toys that he LOVES and finds hilarious!
And the moments when I've fed him pureed food....his face is disgusted at first, which is quite hilarious. He gets used to the taste and soon is downing food and opening his mouth for more faster than I can go!

And the moment at the end of the day as I sit in the rocking recliner cuddling that cute tired boy asleep in my arms, reflecting on how much we learned and explored that day and how much fun we're going to have tomorrow.

I truly have been blessed with a wonderful husband who works so hard and is supportive of me staying home to raise our kid and future kids. 
I love that he loves this little boy.  Some of his biggest and bestest laughs have come from hanging out with dad.

I'm a planner, a do-er, explorer, and creator.  I have so many fun things planned for Trevin and our little family, and am trying to capture it all through pictures and activities.  There are so many things I want to do and explore.  I've always got a project...or ten....going on.  Dustin is very supportive of my goals and dreams for which I'm so thankful for.  My goal in life really is to do as much as I can with what we can, and enjoy it, capture it, and share it.  I have the best boys and am so glad I get to hang out with them every day.  This really is my happily ever after :)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

The NICU and Going Home!

The aftermath of having a baby....the healing not something I was at all prepared for.  Holy blood and pain and stitches and not even caring who saw what down there, haha.  I hated taking showers and I hated stitches and sitting down.  But more than I hated all that, I hated the situation my little baby was in.

Trevin had to be in the NICU since his blood sugars were low and he could not keep warm (temperature was unstable). I was anxious to see him as I had not gotten to see him for more than a few minutes right after he was born before they whisked him away to the nursery.

My mom and little bro, Jason, were at the hospital. They had gotten there before Trevin was even born.  haha.  My mom was excited since Trevin is her first grandbaby! :)  I had called my mom and through tears told her about Trevin having to be in the NICU.  She said it would be ok and that things would work out.

When I finally got to see him I just cried.  He was hooked up to all sorts of wires and monitors and laying under a heater. His hands and feet had already been endlessly pricked. 

Even though he lay there sleeping I couldn't help but wonder if he was in pain.  I touched his little hand and longed to hold him.  

Two people at a time could be at his bedside.  So Dustin rotated his spot so I wouldn't have to leave Trevin.  Those who came were newly-named GRANDMA Teresa Boren, newly-named UNCLE Jason, Grandma and Grandpa Parris, and Melissa and her hubby Matt. (Later more people came to visit...we'll get there :) )  I'm sad I didn't get pictures with everyone.  I'm pretty sure I wasn't the one taking pictures...I had just given birth after all! And I wasn't even getting to hold my baby! :(

Every little thing he did was adorable. Even his little yawn.  awww, MY little baby.  

His poor little foot... or "ski" I should say (thank my husband for those long feet, haha) the time our hospital stay ended his heel was black from all the pricking they had to do to draw blood.


The nurses encouraged me to go back to my room and get some rest.  They would be bottle feeding him formula every 3 hours since they needed to monitor his blood sugars and help his temperature stabilize.

I kept waking up... I missed my baby. At 2:30am I went down to the NICU to just look at him.  They said they had moved him to the other side of the NICU because he was no longer in critical condition :)
One of the nurses asked if I wanted to hold him and I excitedly said "yes!"  As she picked him up, she had to wrap/move the cords out of the way so they didn't snag/tug.

 As I held him, I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry.  I just kept thinking "My little baby poor little baby boy..." He was so so tiny and fragile that I thought I might break him. But he was BEAUTIFUL!  I loved him so much already.  It was hard to believe that Dustin and I were parents and that this little boy was OURS!! I prayed that he would get through and be strong.

I pumped and labeled the bottles to take down to the NICU for Trevin since they wanted to monitor how much he was getting.

He VERY slowly started improving...cords were removed.....and then he no longer needed to be under a heater :).  

As Dustin and I fed him, we were happy to get 10 CC's down him (that's 1/3 an ounce!)  The first time he had 15 CC's we took a picture! He was such a sleepy eater!!

We took lots of pictures.  We just couldn't get enough of him.

His little feet....aka "skis"  haha

His little "lip thing" he did...(he kept sucking on his lower lip.)

His little eyes...and nose...and little lips....

And we knew, from the very beginning, he was going to be awesome! :) (check out that Spock/gang sign! haha)

He was so perfect :)

Most of the nurses were wonderful and encouraging.  One nurse in particular who I was not a fan of, always seemed to say just the WRONG thing...and me being in the super emotional state I, she just was not helping, haha.  She would say "aww he's not doing so good with his eating.  If he doesn't start eating more, they're going to have to stick a tube in him" or "I've tried feeding him and he wouldn't take it.  And I've been trained to feed little  babies who don't want to eat or are too tired to eat so if IIII can't get him to eat, he's going to have some problems." ............yeah, not SUPER encouraging right? So thank you MRS. DOWNER for all the EXTRA tears. ha.

Lots of people came to visit:  Auntie Bre and Degen, Uncle Jared, my Aunt Becky, Jack and Lacy Kruger, my new visiting teacher and her family, my Uncle Ryan, and newly-named GRANDPA Darvil Boren :)  My mom and Jason came and went to bring Dustin food and make sure I wasn't having a breakdown, haha. Grandma and Grandpa Parris and Melissa brought food and flowers.   I feel bad we only captured a few people's pictures...

Dustin left with Jason and came back with flowers and the cutest note ever. :)  Love my hubby!

I LOVE this picture:

On Thursday afternoon Dustin and I were discharged....without Trevin.  Our good friend Justin Decker came just as we were packing up getting ready to go, so he helped with bags and things.  (thank you!!)  It was so sad leaving the hospital without Trevin...coming home to his room and with all his stuff....but leaving him behind.  We went back to the hospital every 3 hours though (except during the midnight to 6am shift where we rested) so that I could pump and feed/hold him.

One time while we were there pumping and feeding Trevin, we overheard a nurse in the "room" (divided off by curtains) next to us tell a couple who had had twin boys that one of the boys tested positive for down syndome. ...Dustin and I looked at each other and later talked about how hard that news would be.  You still love your baby no matter what of course, but getting that news brings a lot of change with it.  So as we're sitting there thinking "oh my gosh how hard to hear that," the nurse is talking about breastmilk and stuff and the mom (who we'd seen a few times with the twin baby boys) said (which COMPLETELY blew us away) "Do you think it's ok if I still do marijuna?"

......?!?!?!  What the??  Yep, blew me away.

So when we FINALLY got to bring Trevin home two days later, ironically the "mean nurse" was the one who discharged us ANNNND took like 20 minutes to take our first "family picture" using our smart phone....because she kept cutting off Dustin's head. haha.  30 pictures later (noooot even kidding) we called it good:

Putting our little baby in the truck :)  Typical mom capturing EVERY moment ;)

And then FINALLY home with our baby boy!!! :)

I love this picture :) One of the first pictures with Trev and dad just chillin at home :)

We were so happy to be home... and then the thought hit us "now what?" ;)