Becoming Goodly Parents

"Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility."

—L. Tom Perry, "Becoming Goodly Parents", Liahona and Ensign, November 2012

I love that quote by Elder Perry.  It's so true.  I'm so thankful for parents who taught me how to choose the right, how to be kind to others, and how to become closer to Christ.  Thanks mom and dad :)

The word "parent" now has a whole new meaning to me seeing how in about 4.5 months Dustin and I WILL be parents... at times it's a little scary to think about but... I'm sure every new mom and dad has felt this way.  And we've been taught by goodly parents ourselves so...we have a good guide to go off :)

Coincidentally  "becoming" is a word that was mentioned multiple times today in church.  Becoming is a journey.  It is a process, something you continuously work toward.   Such as BECOMING a better friend, a better neighbor, a better follower of Jesus Christ, and yes...a goodly parent.

As the first counselor in the Primary where I teach kids ages 3 -11 every other week, it is not hard to recognize the kids that have been taught at home.  Those kids know the scripture stories.  They understand what it means to be reverent and obedient.  They participate in group discussions and help with small tasks.

On the other hand, it is quite easy to identify the kids who have not been taught.  Often these are the kids who seek after attention and/or have a hard time understanding things.   I love these kids though -- all of them.  And the leaders in Primary do what we can to teach them how to obey, share, and listen.  But ultimately, that is the parents' responsibility.  

And that's exactly what Elder L. Tom Perry said in this talk : Becoming Goodly Parents (quoted above as well):

Lessons taught in the home by goodly parents are becoming increasingly important in today’s world, where the influence of the adversary is so widespread. As we know, he is attempting to erode and destroy the very foundation of our society—the family. In clever and carefully camouflaged ways, he is attacking commitment to family life throughout the world and undermining the culture and covenants of faithful Latter-day Saints. Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility. While other institutions such as church and school can assist parents to “train up a child in the way he [or she] should go” (Proverbs 22:6), this responsibility ultimately rests on the parents.  

Elder Perry  suggested 5 ways that parents can build a stronger family:

1. Parents can pray in earnest, asking our Eternal Father to help them love, understand, and guide the children He has sent to them.
2. They can hold family prayer, scripture study, and family home evenings and eat together as often as possible, making dinner a time of communication and the teaching of values.
3. Parents can fully avail themselves of the Church’s support network, communicating with their children’s Primary teachers, youth leaders, and class and quorum presidencies. By communicating with those who are called and set apart to work with their children, parents can provide essential understanding of a child’s special and specific needs.
4. Parents can share their testimonies often with their children, commit them to keep the commandments of God, and promise the blessings that our Heavenly Father promises His faithful children.
5. We can organize our families based on clear, simple family rules and expectations, wholesome family traditions and rituals, and “family economics,” where children have household responsibilities and can earn allowances so that they can learn to budget, save, and pay tithing on the money they earn.

 Yesterday when I asked Dustin what he was most afraid of about having a baby he said "that we're bringing them into a world filled with all sorts of evil."  We talked about how we both turned out pretty good I'd say ;)  and that as long as we're doing our best, we definitely won't be left without help from our Heavenly Father. 

Elder L. Tom Perry in that same talk said:

Our strengthened family cultures will be a protection for our children from “the fiery darts of the adversary” (1 Nephi 15:24) embedded in their peer culture, the entertainment and celebrity cultures, the credit and entitlement cultures, and the Internet and media cultures to which they are constantly exposed.  ....Families provide an anchor and the safe harbor of a home where each child of a loving Heavenly Father can be influenced for good and acquire eternal values.  

Shortly after Dustin and I were married, one of our friends said he did not understand how men's roles were so unequal.  In his mind, the men seemed to have more power or dominance in the home and as a member of the church.  Our friend was not a member of the church.  We explained to him that a man and wife are equal partners who each contribute to the same cause whether that be family or serving in the church.  There is no question in my mind that my role as a future mother supports Dustin's role as a future father.  The Proclamation to the Family says:

“… By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” 

It could not get any plainer than that :)  I love Elder L. Tom Perry's closing remarks:

God bless you goodly mothers and fathers in Zion. He has entrusted to your care His eternal children. As parents we partner, even join, with God in bringing to pass His work and glory among His children. It is our sacred duty to do our very best. 

Looking forward to doing our very best :)